Ask a question about this occasion "balance" learning opportunities

Jordan Strauss / Invision / AP Actress Jennifer Garner at the ELLE Women in Hollywood event in Los Angeles

Very successful women are often invited to public forums, how to work and family, as if their answers could offer us all a magic formula for happiness.

The truth is that they have a balance - a perfect 50-50 split between work and family - and the wording of the question in this way creates a sense of shame and failure. Too often in discussions about work and family, we are asking the wrong question and ignoring a group, the men could have valuable thoughts.